Make Each Day Happy!

It’s September 9th 2018, I woke up at 3:35AM completely empty inside, I was astounded. Then I remembered I ate half a jar of peanut butter the night before; I need milk of magnesia, the empty feeling and the peanut butter are not mixing well and it’s too early to be awake!

This is my life: When you crack a Nut, all you find is a Nut inside!!

I misplaced my internal drive, where did it go?

Yeah, it’s this last 20 years of a concussion and joint surgeries, medical impoverishment, car impounded and needing tires really bad, leaving an apartment I love due to the “Construction dust of three apartments around me and falling ill for 10 weeks, not being able to work, loss of clientele due to apartment company insisting on major renovations! They upped the rents on 100 or so apartments, kicked people out! This ruin lives! I am also a writer (finally magazines picking up articles), and being temporarily medically poor? Why do people HATE the impoverished! Moveover, strangers HATE helping those who are temporarily cash strapped when medical hits in country. Why? This does not make sense, certainly not empathetic or caring.

Allow me to explain: why somehow we fail in a failing medical system? I’m a failure in not recovering from a TBI immediately! This took time, then I wrote a book on the recovery process. I had 29+ MRI’s EKG’s, EEG’s &c…., 5 major surgeries, year after year after year for now 15 years. PTSD set in. Went through 3 therapist, over 20 therapist called; NOPE none of them worked for an ex-therapist, genius since birth scientist.

This is the NOT so Pleasing side: Ok, I had a concussion long ago! Now living in the most deplorable rent-a-room, filthy, noisy (I dislike noise and filth) by two major highways, with screeching tires, crashes, sirens 24 hours daily. I love fresh air, but can’t open my pathetic two small windows due to the traffic noise. I do not care for TV, and the owner does, never cleans, never throws anything away, has the TV on all the time when home (thankfully he does work). The place smells, full of bacteria. I keep a small area clean for myself and keep clean water for the 2 dogs and a cat. The yard and porch are the Stanford & Son trashed, trees overgrown, a fire danger. Fencing on top of old fencing falling and the grass that never gets mowed is all weeds, it’s the worst in the neighborhood. And this landlord has lived for 30 years, divorced and completely contrary to everyway I have lived. I know there is a creepy something in the basement apartment, for the 30 years of nothing being thrown out plus MOLD.

It was all I could afford and still not get by each month..

Now for the good News: My therapeutic cat SimSai is getting a bit pudgy, and if by my side he is happy, but he FARTS at night, dang worse than my dog. Yet his purring relieves pain in my body!

My dog Sade is a service dog of 13 years, she is 15 and on her way out of life. Sade is about as blind as a bat, but navigates really well as long as I am behind her butt, nudging her with my knees one direction or the other.

My last horse standing is about an hour away, we have been together for over 19 years. He is my rock and happiness, calm sensible, loving with manners. An Arabian horse who has never shown as much drama as all the men I dated once or twice. He lives in a half million dollar bar with a few mares. KlassicAmir, an Arabian, has aged better than any of those men I might had stretched the dating time to a week.

three things that are good.

Today is the day, I figure out what will make me happy each day:

Sade and I plan to go be with KlassicAmir, my Arabian. He will get a bath, brushed down, kissed and walked to eat fresh grass, as I look over Denver’s dirty air from the hill tops breathing clear clean air. Sade will be wondering around, peeing and pooping freely, sniffing and occasionally rubbing along the hundreds of bales of hay, I guess this scratches her entire body, then she get a bath and another real brushing.

It took some time to figure out I needed to get out and meet people face to face. And, recovered from these recent past ill-gotten life ordeals. We all have little quirks, so I am broken a bit and being a bit of a serious, always reading, listening to other scientists type – with my quirky sense of humor is not always caught by individuals.

I thought social media might work, and spent some time (8 months) on the platform; oh SLUMP! This idea made my mood worse. It seems we cannot get away from the “Follow the Sheep Syndrome.” Ah Ha, Resolution people are rather Lone Wolves! Unless they are around the thinking type of people who do not feel they must create and join the same brand. And, have you ever noticed how many “Coaches” there are on social media? I did ask some about their experiences in life. One had 8 months of depression!! WOW another was teased as a kid for being Chubby!! WHOA that hits the charts in being teased when we were all kids! Another coach just wants to be happy, don’t deal with real life, just be happy.

Hmmm, not realistic for a genius type scientist that just fell through the proverbial cracks of life and ended up without dangling for a bit then poor. NO to social media for now.

Time for REAL LIFE ~ what makes us happy.

I finally was able to move!!

Now, come along, no yellow brick road, no odd screeching monkeys nor witches from the north, south, east or west. Plain simple rediscovering life, to enjoy. Rediscover what life is about and enjoy, many others might join in with their happiness.