I screamed, “get me out here,” as I ripped the velcro straps off my body which would not allow me to move a millimeter. Clenching at the heavy padded weight that had most of my body impinged – in an excruciating position for over an hour scanning my damaged body. I bellowed, “I need to move I am in pain — tired of waiting!!”
The due course, over two hour MRI, strapped-in, in degrees of contortions! Damn I can ride my Arabian horse and never feel a bit of pain from my injuries. In contrast, this MRI is causing more injuries on top of the current fractures.
Ten minutes left on the clock to finish scanning my right hip, T-band — hamstring muscle. I was aware at the severity of damage from the October 2019 fall on cement stairs. And now, to have an MRI causes more impairment? NOPE (!!) not staying for 10 more excruciating minutes, while the clinicians has reboot the MRI software twice, and an additional hard reboot.
Prior to this moment Jennifer (sweet lady) came in to move the table (after giving me a stretch break from the first 20 some minutes), into previous position. Up down, in out, up down, up down, in out, I am getting dizzy and the blistering pain is intensified. She walks back in the control room with a fellow worker. I am waiting — waiting — biting my lower lip, the pain is burgeoning — I can’t move a smidgen, they tell me through the speaker, “just a bit more time!”
This was my 5th scan of my small but powerfully strong body, never been in such pain in an MRI. Normally, I do not capitulate to pain, instead, I MOVE IT OUT!
Tilting my head to find a clock — time — YIKES — it is now 12:05PM over 2 hours for a 45 minute MRI.
For a few more minutes I reflect on how I was trained as a child, growing up in Europe, in gymnastics, hockey, cricket, dance, swimming and HORSES!! Lifelong equestrian, taught “how to ride, and Disengage on command,” the European disciplines are stringent. None could come close to the current MRI pain. I need to move!!
I am trapped — in anguish! Pain rivets through my contorted body, enuff is enuff, internal Bengal is rising to the occasion.
In torment, I tore at the velcro straps, not having the bubble ball to signal; screams of searing harrowing pain flooded the room from my gut. Panic ensued from the back room, people came running.
With my torn shoulder, guttural screams, AAARRRGGGHHHHH I began to lift the huge weight off my body, tossing it to the floor — freeing myself. A man catches the thick weighted padding before it hit the floor. Startled, he said, “we have 10 minutes left of the MRI, we will need to reschedule.”
AAAARRRRGGGHHH — as I move to my side and begin to lower my body to stretch, anguish uncontrollable bellows from my depths. I’m barely make 5 feet 4 inches in height, being hypermobile I bend like a sandwich to my sandals; the technicians attempted to stop me. Gutterly explaining, “leave me alone please. I am fine, I need to move, I need to walk, I need to stretch out this pain! I need to see if I can walk!!!”
They continue to repeat in panic mode, “ we must reschedule for the remaining 10 minutes.” “NO!! we are NOT rescheduling — I am done!” Strapping my sandals on, I repeat, “I need to walk, can I walk? I need to move!!”
Straightening my body — aligning my back — vibrate at a time — stretching my neck, RELIEF! Telling myself — tighten your glutes and start walking!! Repeating inside, MicheleElys, your body is strong, it never shows weakness — that is what you are made of! Walk!
Changing back into my jeans — small orange T-top, keys attached to my jeans and WALK — walk out, people asking questions, my legs astounded me — damn we are out of here!
I hear memmering questions behind me and looks of concern. Waving goodbye with a strained smile; out into the Colorado sunshine, Breathe!!!
AAARRRGGGGHHH I am done this. No more surgeons insisting on joint repair, it is soft tissue damage, I can heal with exercise — strengthen through weights again; my physical therapist, and of course, my beloved Arabian horse. We are DONE with the hysterias!!
I know my body better than all of these doctors, surgeons, all they see is surgery — not treat a defiant redhead who knows how to take the blows by disengaging from horses, tumbling off bar beams; I need to walk, walk out the pain, walk damn it, walk and breathe!!
How could anyone fathom a MRI to go so wrong and cause so much pain. Worse be invited back. No NO — NO — NO — NO!
Called Michael at the bank, have everything ready before hand, I am in pain. And then off to Trader Joes; walk around, it’s not busy and the cool air allows me to breathe easier. Purposely dropping some items to bend over for another stretch, releasing the lower back, stretching out the hamstring muscle.
Thinking about my list which I did not have; some Rice milk, chai, lettuce, tomatoes, carrot and tangerine juice, my list was churning in my head. At the counter, everyone is incredibly helpful, “I forgot the tahini, and please put everything back into the basket, I have my own bags to manage in my car, thank you.”
After placing the groceries away, grabbing the turquoise kinesio tape and scissors, pulling off my jeans, cutting 6 inch strip for the small of my back, ahhh relief. Another set of strips to half moon my knees, cutting strips to support the back of my left knee, another strip — horizontal under the knee, finally up both T-bands. WALK — Damn it Walk out the pain!
Pain relief comes later with frozen gel packs! And I giggle, reflecting, no one is ever wiser to my body being injured; the way I walk, move with fortitude, sometimes asking, “Please do not hug me — my body is rather touchy these days!”
Setting new boundaries and goals. I will be riding endurance with my Arabian horse by the end of September. And more to come on my progress — adopting a lovely male Rottweiler and MOVING to some horse property. Plus, concentrating on my two books — writing is important……. Lots of work to be done — We all must focus on Living Life!
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