How do we compliment each other these days? Simple compliment, not wanting more, except an appreciated word; no date or lunch! A simple compliment – has caused an uprising “Do not compliment women, especially online!”
Seriously, humans are in a pickle of a dilemma!
Rules are Muddled!
Today I dropped by T Joe’s after a frustrating moment reading one of my doctors, muddled up notes. I was highly annoyed at his perspective of our conversation (in a mood facing my coming up 7th & 8th joint surgeries)! Behind the captains’ desks at T Joe’s, where I know about everyone who works there, Kevin with amazing blue eyes came out to greet me, I had to compliment his eyes and without a breath I said, “Am I allowed to say that these days.” Kevin laughed and said YES with a huge smile. I bulked at giving a simple compliment.
On LinkedIn, I get hit on over my appearances at least a dozen times weekly, with a knee jerk reaction over the last 2 years; This is not a dating site!”
I use to say Thank you! And move onto to a conversation.
What happened to a compliment versus cyberpunk?
Every lady loves a sincere compliment.
Even those who cannot accept a compliment (and keep fishing), making excuses for something she does not like about herself. Ahhh the self esteem.
I have always enjoyed appreciative compliments about how I have dressed or regarding a photo, now my mind lives in a quardry and misgivings for not saying “thank you.”
Instead, I find I am protecting myself from cyber attacks and lurid comments or needy men (are these mostly projections of social media?) Where is the middle ground and enjoyment or appreciation of our appearances? I’m not always in smelly horse jeans and boots, and I’ve been complimented in my horse attired, often.
Some men who have stated a real compliment, followed by a push-away-retort from me has sat in my stomach for months, I knew the words, in hindsight, were a simple compliment!
Yet, it was the other 55% (?) lonely or whatever else lurking on social media – which revolts and regurgitates in my stomach back to – This is not a dating site” statement from the get go.
Worse, I would like to apologies to those men who meant no harm, but I can’t remember all them, because they’re in a massive bowl of mixed nuts!!
Social media is not real life, it is a pseudonym that has replaced the face to face, no cell phone lunch, cocktail party, volunteer time. No longer a hope for employment positions, rather chasing LIKES via cotton candy posts or cute animal gifs. This is not life and what human emotions require, instead, It’s sick!
Some might meet, find a real friend, for the most part these are rather fake friends we impose a pseudo relationship social media platform through a computer relationship, and quiver when blocked because we disagree about life or have a bad day. Insanity on a child’s playground thinking we are grownup!
Seven years ago, I was telling friends, “if you do not put that cell phone away during this 1&1/2 hour lunch I’m leaving,” Now we are all on social media, whether that is a cell phone, in our car (dangerous), and we call this friendship? Is this a valid input to our personal lives and possibly why we fear the onslaught of compliments on a computer? It’s not real life, just as CAPS are not audible screaming voices.
HUMANS MUST ALLOW EMOTIONS
have WE Passed the point of no return?
To connect beyond the job acquaintances, we have online MeetUps gathering together socially, for a variety of sociable occasions through a computer! Worse, we continue to out our cell phones to check every vibration; are we appearing to be (some kind of importance)? Often it is call from the dog sister with a question, most saying, I have to take this call! Really? WTF (Where’s The Fun!)
Back to Social Media: Are we at home watching Ted Talks and hoping we might have a slight conversation with a person who has 4 million or 20 million views, on social media and than write about it?
Muddle Rules for Humans, it’s not working for the human emotional requirement!
We are social creatures and require social interaction with compliments, smiles (facial feedback) and conversation, In person!
How can we change and once again Trust face to face and not take every word as an unseen cybercrime or “hit on attack?”
“A shocking but true quote: The Police attract bullies like the priesthood attracts pedophiles,” Bill Maher.
Are we responding to compliments online as we do in person? It is time to time to change and have a serious conversation with ourselves and others. Yes, cybercrimes and stalking does exist, so do many great people online and in person. We must launch a human to human interaction without fear and dread.
More, trust out instincts instead of being impolite or surly. And Thank you to the men, who meant an innocent compliment, I appreciate being appreciated.
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About the Author: MicheleElys is a Neurobehaviorist ~ Writer ~ Educator ~ Keynote Speaker.
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