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Throughout life we will have; loved & hurt, have changed & grown, fallen & climbed back up, failed & learned; we will live. We come from different cultures, parents, education, small towns or distant lands, enjoying a variety of foods while life and perceptions develop our personalities.
There is a death story for every beloved pet that has died. Many tears are shed reciting those moments: we had the vet come to our home; we wrapped our dog in beautiful white linen; we hand fashioned a box for our cat and buried him by the old oak tree.
We tell the stories, the memories, we have tradition for each animal and share the experience with others.
Sammie Kewl Kat’s death was phenomenal. The previous Saturday I call my vet, “Sammie is dying.” I bawled; streams of tears rolling down my cheeks. “Bring Sammie in on Monday,” “Thank you Jerry.”
Sammie was frail, not the sturdy barn cat I had met 14 years prior who fought off coyotes and won. Caught pigeons on the fly in the 3rd story cupola of a barn. Sammie would stay out late (still thinking he was a Tom cat) and at 2:00AM sweetly mew under my bedroom window. Happy and groggy I would go to the door, let Sammie in, we both crawled into bed together.
Monday came as we drove quietly to his last moments. As the needle for the final goodbye gently pierce his skin, the most enormous Purr Roared out of frail Sammie Kewl Kat. Three of us looked at each other in wide-eyed amazement as the purring filled the room.
Watershed of sobs, Sammie’s last roaring purr went silent as his last breath left his black furred body to a quiet hush. His face gleamed of peace.
Sammie die with dignity, he left incredible memories to his last silent moment. For as loud as the roaring purr was, so was his amazing life, more than 9 lives.
Those who love their fur families have beautiful sacred deaths. The connected relationship lives in memories, a cherished relationship now sealed for eternity in death.
What of our human death moments? Are we connected enough to share the sacred life and death experience?
As I spoke to a 4th generation young mortician, he conveyed grievous facts of our disconnected reality. Most arrangements are handled through emails. Many who handle the final arrangement exhibit anger and hostility. It is not the process in arrangements which produce these emotions, it is the lost in true connection, memories of failed and cherished moments of connection in life. There will be no closure for there was never an opening.
If, per chance the arrangements are done in person, many live in angst wondering “how will the procession appear to others?” After the last person leaves, a person is left alone and questioning how to conduct life, the monumental change and loss leaves the individual in a void, not knowing how to take the next step. Life has changed.
He added, Death is sacred, I am always the last person standing at the grave site. I wait until the casket is lowered, I am the last person to see the end of a life.
From the book: “Beyond The Good Death” As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away.”
Are you listening to who you are and truly connect to those around you? What will your life speak of at the remains of the years.
We humans are on a precipices of an earthquake of chaos, lacking human experience touching our very nature, our depths which must be nurtured.
Real connections, hearing the tones in voices, the eyes that well with tears or speak of joy. The lips kissing cheeks hello or goodbye. The necessary touching of our tactile natures, in support or surprise. Elaborate conversations, sharing life – experiences – wisdom learned and failure’s disappointments.
Death is sure to come for all of us. Are we ready for the last Testament of our lives and who we have touched? And who will take care for the remains, will there be cherished memories?
Death is sacred! The only one life experience we all have in common. It is the fulfillment, for however long or short of a human’s life.
We have been given a wondrous option in life to connect with people from around the world through the internet. Nonetheless, if we do not utilize this growing Artificial Intelligence to further the humanity in our human lives, touching our hearts, developing our knowledge in sharing in comradery, agreeing to deepen our connections, we are not serving the very purpose of our human nature; touching all senses – connecting the mind and heart in relationship.
What will our lives have to say at moments’ end? Are we to be remembered with appreciation or forgotten?
Online communication offers billions of opportunities, we share our philosophies, our skills, news, and meet new friends or loves.
A real relationship develops with untold potential. This translates into fulfilling the needs of being human. Our representation of a life in numerous years and what we leave behind.
I have heard many beautifully crafted death ceremonies of beloved animals. Many backyards are filled with animal graves, continual heart rendering stories. A fireplace mantel filled with pictures and canisters of dearly departed pets. Each time I pass cemeteries filled with grass and head stones, occasionally I see a person kneeling with flowers. Where are the human memories?
The moral dilemma is not whether or how we spend time on the computer or other devices. The human need is in making a choice by leaving the cell phone in the car, turning off the computer, and connecting with a person, opening our hearts and minds that we may flourish.
MicheleElys is a Neuro-Behaviorist, working to help people globally understand Solutions and Recovery
Author – Keynote Speaker
Reluctant French Chef
Projects: Weekly Articles on Human Behavioral Solutions and TBI recovery. Two Books in the works.
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