Shame, impedes everyone! Disrupts the goodness in life!
Shame is impinged on a person by others. Shame is one of the most harmful of tactics for it is invisible, thereby extremely difficult to remedy.
Our Human world lacks compassion and understanding. A long standing malady which disconnects each other when we need each other the most.
“I want to feel safe when I am too tired to be strong.” David Amerland
This quote speaks volumes. Where is our world’s compassion and community in helping each other? Where have our caring hearts gone?
We can point fingers in all directions when it comes to shame!
Religion! The Vatican; the most wealthiest of nations and still they protect the pedophile Priests. These acts are heinous and egregious for the victims. Furthermore, those victims are Shamed for life! Additionally, The Shame is due to the innocent victim’s guilt in having trusted a priest as a child. How does one ameliorate such an act. Who wishes to sue the Wealthiest Churches?
Many suicides have come from Shame.
Shamed are: Women who are raped! It is for the most part in our courts’ legal system, the women’s fault. And the reason why many rapes go unreported!
Women have children out of wedlock, they are damned. And where is the responsible Father? Many families are created by choice, by adoption or other means. Seldom do we look at the dual factors, rather we Shame on first glance.
In other cultures many women have been Shamed, starting with Kings. If an herb cured the King, if she were of quiet beauty, the woman became the Kings’ mistress. If the herb and favorable beauty was not the outcome; she would be burned as a witch.
The Poor have been plagued by way of Shame for millenniums! No one wishes to be poor, the goal in life is not to be homeless.
It is a condition caused by our societies religions imbued judgements lacking caring communities.
We are fragile humans. We become sick and injured or harmed, this is not shameful. Nor is being poor!
The Shame associated with TBIs run amuck, for TBIs are not visible. Those afflicted with this hideous injury may function, oft times with extreme proficiently. And yet the twisted injured wiring of the brain malfunctions, leaving the injury person helpless, lost in anguish, a prisoner of their brain.
We have become egregiously intolerant humans. We demand everyone to remain strong and viable – Bionic? This is impossible, we are not devices to be tossed out when broken. New joint replacements cost a fortune and so does the physical therapy. The upkeep is constant.
The cost of injuries is major; it cost me my place in life, my career, my brain and everyone I knew left, for I was not the Go to strong person with all the answers and resolutions when injured. This is Shame!
People leave when we are not perfect. Humans are not perfect!
A woman wrote me a heart breaking story of being poisoned, she could not be her normal self for years. She was Shamed for not being her usual stalwart persona. Her body and self esteem collapsed along with her mind. The loss was immense, more than bearable although recovering, the Shame still lingers. People leave, their reasons: You are no longer the same person I once knew!
Is kindness a luxury? By Seth Godin
Humans become debilitated for many reasons. Where is the compassion, where is our humanity? Are we left with only intolerance?
We are creatures needing to be nurtured, cared about and given time to recover. We need kindness and understanding.
Shame comes in many forms: “What is wrong with you, your not the same person I have known” or “Can’t you keep up” “your not doing your best work” “Apply yourself more, I can do the job of two people, you will be fired if….”
These are fear tactics with unconscionable results. Further hindering our basic nature to thrive and produce. Kindness takes very little effort, and yet kindness has been lost to an impatient society.
Time to Stop Shaming! For the reasons of Being Injured, Being Human. Time to rethink for humanity’s sake.
Shame continues in our Governing bodies. As J. K. Rowlings spoke of her tragic beginnings with child, regarding her explosive Harry Potter writings to Jon Stewart. J.K. confidently stated, she was on government assistance, asking if such programs exited in the Americas. Jon Stewart yes, and, “We Pretty much make people feel as horrible as possible.”
Be more patient, be more caring.
Kindness takes less energy than hostility, and runs through an audience faster than an grass fire.
Kindness creates a sense “well being throughout our bodies in less than a second.” For a person with a TBI, kindness could decrease or completely abate a panic attack augmenting recovery!
Kindness increases trust!
Trust increases connections. Connections increases relationships and better business decisions.
Better decisions increase our economical growth.
The Message to the brain and body is: we are safe here, the brain and body relaxes and recovers.
Next time you see a person in need, lend them a bit of your time and energy. Those moments could help an entire family, it may spread through a community.
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About the Author: MicheleElys is a Neurobehaviorist ~ Writer ~ Educator ~ Keynote Speaker.
“Concussions are a huge drain in the workplace!” 4-6 week training program relieving the agony of TBIs and concussions.
Founder of NBR [neural behavior recognition]. A recovery model for Trauma/TBI Improvement, Recovery to maintenance, Need a Consult? Connect with MicheleElys email LinkedIn, MicheleElys.com
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