It is not selfish; this is healing. Take the time without regret, without thought, allowing the unseen wings to grow and expand silently.
I was badly injured last week and my body hurt. What hurt more than my body was my inability to write or study. My inability to be my normal self. With my horses, Sade and Sammie I had to find some solace for I became difficult to be around.
By not giving myself enough time to heal and be quiet.
Life became too lonely while watching the bruises on my face and body well up and no one was there for comfort. So I cried alone. I cried with my dog. I cried with my Arabians and I cried with my Sammie Kewl Kat.
As I drove today to yet resolve another problem, it was difficult and challenging dealing with a person who uses guilt and shame to manipulate me; I remembered one thing.
I choose how I feel about each moment in life. Telling that person they were inappropriate was a moment of strength and then leaving the challenge behind was more of a challenge. I didn’t let go. Instead I saw the moment as an ugly analogy.
Life does stink at times. The still waters begin their stench of stagnation. The articles about women leaders fell behind in my research and reading.
Being an achievement personality – I began to be cross with myself and demand more. All of this did not work. Be kind to others and be kind to yourself!
Today was difficult for I had to write up a 5 page dissertation about a crime committed against me last year. The ordeal was monumental during the crime, and I had thought I had left it behind, until I received a letter from the ADA’s office, asking for a recount and details. I did write the entire violation out in 45 minutes and had the office fax it to the DA’s office. And I stated I wish to be present during the trial. For this person was a repeat offender and no one had taken the steps I took to put her behind bars. She is dangerous, a sociopath with other egregious attributes.
I could not write my weekly article, thankfully I have 2 1/2 more days to publish. I will get a hug from my horses tomorrow, and for now; rest and quiet. I am still recovering from a long time severe injury, there is no sense in harming myself more with stress.
What rang true in this moment was my responsibility to myself and recovering from a horrible fall. I hurt, I needed help and I was not getting the appropriate responses. This is not the time to give up, but I am hurt, so what does one do.
Take one step at a time with conscious thought! The rest, I have no more answers, only one step at a time.
MicheleElys is a Writer – Speaker- Reluctant French Chef – Equine Devotee
Dedicated to Behavioral Solutions for the betterment of life.
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