A simple kiss: a simple kiss from an Arabian Gelding that weights over 1000 pounds.
He is not tamed or broken, for his spirit is one of joy and play! The freedom in which he exudes his liveliness is too wondrous to tame. But around me, he feels trust ~ love ~ joy ( at this moment I am going to feed him hay and carrots and apples) this makes him happy.
He is playful, loves to nuzzles my back, arm or shoulder when entering his stable and roundabout. He could unwittingly harm me, or he could kill me in a millisecond, but he does not for there is respect and unadulterated love; pure love some call this unconditional love this is built on a solid foundation of trust. There are rogue horses that have been cruelly beaten ~ mistreated ~ and starved. But I have never met a horse, tamed or wild that would intentionally predatorily harm me or kill me; as humans do and have. We seem to kill for pleasure and harm others’ out of some twisted need of control.
In conjunction with this statement above, I wish I could say this about humans.
WARNING: online dating can produce Stalkers, and just as in life we have predators and perpetrators, be careful and do not fall into a trap, be wise. So watch for it; be wise and don’t fall into the traps. Come into my parlour said the spider to the fly…..
On the other hand Online traversing is a HOOT! It comes with a great deal of laughter from all sides of life, and degree of life, some with a hardy laugh some with a sniker, some with “are you that stupid to say such?…….. Well the laugh will last a second or two~ then NEXT!.
Today, I am choosing “OurTime.com and OKCupid” for today’s focus.
First OutTime.com and all it’s Emotion-cons! They get annoying, especially if one can never follow up with some words or a sentence. These are cute little faces that will state *I’m interested are you?* Or you may send a smiley face to someone, a cute wink (for a first email, for possibly words have failed your brain) and maybe you are new to this online cutesy venue (we all are).
Why we are lost in articulation, when this is a daily routine (deaf people articulate!). Not being able to send a sentence with these emoticons is rather peculiar to me. Say hello!
Next the profile: “If you can not strike up a conversation in your own profile (what is the point of trying to meet someone online) or missing photos, please move on”
Emails are more affective, nonetheless many choose this coy way of never stating their intentions in words or much anything substance. Use your brain, if you wish to meet someone, speak up – get some photos online, do not use the excuse “my grand daughter started this profile for me”. Yes someone used this excuse! I told him to move on. A authentic introduction is well worth the effort, quit being juvenile and wasting others’ time. The UniBomber even communicated with a letter!!
And if your profile states “no drama” get a grip! You most likely are bring drama from the get go. Life had drama and for the most part, we are expected to be adults. However if this is all you are thinking about in a paragraph or two; you need to learn to communicate with more effectual results. Or you are just damn controlling. Life and drama, joy and sorrow, seeking happiness and love are a package deal. Now seldom does anyone want those NJ housewives, but you don’t need to state it!!! You are the one who is looking; by pass them!
Emoticon state:“I am interested”, or it may offer a cute “wink” use these with follow up words to welcome a person with some joy, words ~ communications~ reach out! If you start with the “you’re hot”, most likely the answers you might get are not going to be long lasting, in a relationship venue that is. Honestly these emoticons, at times, should be compliments, until one receives 200 or 300 hundred daily for weeks and that is all. Emails, sincere comments are more apt to get a response than emoticons. I wondered are most illiterate?
Like everyone, I enjoy a compliment, who doesn’t? Compliments are appreciation, right?
Gratitude, recognition, a Thank You at work when a job is well done; appreciation goes a llloonngg ways in the respect gratuitous column; doesn’t it? Same online, unless they are all emoticon, then most of us would want to scream! Unless you are that desperate for attention (then I recommend a 12 step)! Write some words, do something creative, add a picture – a cute wiener dog jumping with a leaf in its’ mouth, something interesting that captures a person’s interest, more their humor… make that person of your desires want you!
Does anyone read these profile? Maybe YES! I did – and do. Found lots of oddities! And a few very pleasant people to chat with along with their interesting life stories. Is the key to this conundrum a great first liner or paragraph? Sometimes! The best catcher, is a fabulous smile! Or a face in the camera photo that says I am HERE and wanting to find a great partner and new friends. This daring straight face shot by a camera and you, shows you have nothing to hide, you are having a relationship with that camera while reaching through to get that other persons’ attention. You are looking to that person and inviting them into your life.
This is where the “weeding” out begins. A man with his tongue protruded out of his mouth in some kind of insipid gesture…. Well you were just told what I think and so do other emancipated ladies. So let me share with you a little story or two, that made my skin crawl. They are funny, that is why I am going with the genetic defective of homo sapiens behavior first this day.
Sifting through my now ~ part time job of Online Dating daily emails; at first was fun. That was the first 4-8 days, until I saw over 275 emails and counting in my in box; unfortunately these were not thoughtful written emails, dang emoticons. One paragraph of words will engage a person more than emoticons, I can’t state this enough. Emoticons show no effort, so what effort will one give a relationship; same goes for the profile. Just a little looksy FYI.
Emails illicit conversation, this is the point! If someone has taken the time to think about what they wanted to say, stated with clear articulation ~ grammar and punctuation, well versed and obviously well read, all this shows in profiles and emails. Some have amazed me with their inner brilliance. The ingredients were an engaging smile, some fun activities ~ other than holding a Blood soaked – dead – 10 point buck deers’ body (by the antlers) in their arms. Once after receiving a shocking email and primary photo of the above statement, I did send a response with only one word: (KILLER)! He never emailed me again.
This was not a match for me, nor was the man who loves animals and showed their heads off, in all his photos of every room of his home, wall mounted! This was also a turn off and I shot him an email stating, *Was the beauty of the animal not gracious enough for you when they were Alive? Instead your passion is to Stuff them and display them on your home walls? Nonetheless, everyone is searching for their own particulars in life. This is the point of reading a profile.
I did meet some truly delightful men. An Engaging smile piqued my interest, immediately and will for others. In short – damn SMILE for those photos. One gentleman and I communicated for a few months; I was so taken by his smile and willingness to communicate. Nonetheless this is not a person I wish to write about this moment of profligate thought.
Now for those stories I promised:
It was the Welting Seal guy! The first thing I noticed, were the Red shorts. He wore red shorts, lying on a sunny beach with his stomach bulging out so far, it sat like a huge bubble – toppling over the edge of red shorts onto the towel sinking into the sand. kinship of Jabba The Hutt Type without slimy drool. (I am not finish with this visual)! The blue water and blue sky in the background were the only two pleasing eye resting moments of this sorrowful apparition.
Next came the “welting seal image” sprawled length-wise with his head resting on his fat hairy arm, a cigarette dangling out of his mouth, the other arm which could not reach over his flabby over sized bulge of a stomach, his hand resting somehow on his pleated male chest. He honestly thought this was a turn on!
Absolutely the opposite, my skin crawled at the disdainful appearance as I opened the email in shock. This was not someone or something I wish to see or gaze upon in my in box. It got worse, the emoticon said to me “Your HOT!”
These apparitions do not get me goozy juicy, (!!) Yes, we all should have a good laugh. No goosy juicy turn on, no degree of enthusiasm, more of scream and run (delete and block) on my part. But these incidences do (thankfully) occur less frequently. One can ignore, delete and go screaming else where!
One more YIKES or YUK story from OK Cupid.com where I had to, repeat HAD TO add a disclaimer to my profile as below:
*If you have a naked photo in your profile, do not expect me to reply. PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!*
Really, I did have to add this disclaimer, for I received so many naked male pictures. And some where extremely HOT admittedly, but!! This is not the beginning of an enthusiastic relationship for me. I do enjoy and have stated, come with intellect, strong degree of decorum and substance, confidence and be a Gentleman. Simple enough, read the profiles. Online is similar to the Sunday post funnies; look at the pictures and make up your own story. Not So! Read and create a profile.
One day it was a YIKES and I could not get to the block / delete button fast enough. The man was at least 400 plus pounds. While I do not expect perfection, but take care of your body, it’s the only one you are going to get this life. I firmly admit, Bald or Balding men are a huge turn on; this balding man was NOT.
Most of his hair, had now retreated to his ears – to his shoulders and back – upper chest, straggling down onto his elephant-ish arms of flab, which could not reach around his protuberant ~gibbous hairy stomach! Yes, this man felt he was sexy and reached out with an invitation. An unwelcome one at that. More raw and revolting message. And in accordance to his Neanderthal *naked picture* he added these words “We would make great crazy sex together, want to chat?” This image is one I wish I could eradicate from my brain.
I dropped the “F” bomb that moment at a restaurant I frequent, Counter Culture where I often write. A couple of the front end ladies laughed hearing me – they know me well and know that I am a classy little Lady. Dropping the “F” bomb in public was atypical. As I looked up, I said, you have no idea what some men think is sexy. More giggling persued and then “yes we do” (Same goes for women and their comments: one that I heard of was (“Come mount me and do me”)) this is crude!
Nevertheless, there is “someone for most everyone” but don’t delude yourself. This produced some laughs as I sat in horror, scrambling for the delete key. What I forgot, was the block key!!! Oh Horrors.
This hairy whale (at this point I would had preferred a hairy whale), wrote me again with the same corpulent photo. And unfortunately I was having coffee that came spewing out of my lips, just shy of my computer while writing at Counter Culture. Again, laughter ensued by the ladies at the counter, one saying ~ this has to be good. DELETE BLOCK!!! Celia came over with inquisitive eyes, sparkling with laughter “I have to see this MicheleElys”! “No you don’t and it’s gone due to immoral revulsion!” Nonetheless, I did describe the offensiveness ~ hubris action of one male, she laughed and so did I, with the explanation *it’s online dating*.
While these ~ rather distasteful men do not represent the majority. I corresponded with many many Great men, shared email with, spoke occasionally (few) times on the phone; unfortunately they remain an indelible and ineradicable picture in my photographic brain! And make for good copy writing, more it points out facts one wishes to avoid.
That afternoon, I ran to my hairy horses!! Sri’s funny hairy chin and cute eyes, and 1000 pound body helped wash away that other hairy monstrosity and welting seal. BTW, I like seals, particularly Navy Seals (thank you for your service!)
As to the one mentioned Gentleman who had a genuine beguiling smile, black hair ~ Latino and extremely fashionable….We are still (sort of ) friends. Long Distance – careers and a few other obstacles, such as (my being a well educated ~ opinionated ~ out spoken~ self directed, I will be damn if you tell me what to do… RedHead ~ to mention a few of my better qualities that make his eyes roll to read my words). He loved my soft voice, however stuff – yes stuff stood in our way. (sigh)!
We are still friends with the occasional email and a sigh of flirtation and then I state my opinion, I know his eyes are again…He once referred to us as Ricky and Lucy…Oh did I want to speak my mind at the moment, I held it for at least two months, then blurted – I don’t need to ask your permissions as Lucy did with Ricky nor do I act coy. I do what I please! Rolling of the eyes and a few other statements the phone hung up. lolol
Hope is definitely not lost here and certainly my sense of humor is more keyed as well as additional experience to add to some lascivious fallible human stories. The Urge to Merge (another article written in the past) with all of it’s mammalian elemental force, we humans mess up in blithering squabbles. All stating, be aware, cautious and then knowing life is not perfect; even with a well written profile.
Does the profile get read? Yes, they do by the very people you most likely wish to correspond with over time. When is the phone call appropriate? When you feel there is enough trust and then it can go wrong or right; that’s life!!
Sri is seen here requesting a carrot which is held in my hand behind my back; As Arabians have manners so do some humans! (grin) and these stories make for some great smiles and memories. They might be short lived, or potential of a wonderful new friend that comes to town, share some evenings or hikes together and say at the end; it’s all too soon or no real chemistry! The search must be willing to continue with more humor added to the ingredients LOL
Be open, yet cautiously aware. Have a good sense of humor ~ watch for the best that may come your way, stand on the realistic worldly side. Read the profiles! If it states “will write later or not much to say” move along; there are thousands of pictures and profiles to peruse through. Be aware of the speech patterns and mostly how someone presents that proverbial list of “expectations,” this can tell you a great deal about a person. Watch out for the Controlling aspects such as “I expect” statements. I will feature some of these phrases in future subsequent articles!! These *expectations* become hilarious, to read ONLY! And oft times elicits “are you kidding me or what did they write?” comments.
When you feel an over-reaction to a line or paragraph, be warned and proceed with caution.
And last, one little comment. The online experience offers an incredible chance meeting, don’t limit yourself. There are Planes that take us to other parts of the continent or the world. If you have lived in one place for your entire life or at least the last 15 years and have not met that *love of your life* the chances of them moving in next door are rather slim, not all impossible, more improbable!
That is why we are online and what a great opportunity! Take advantage of this moment; reach for the stars, dangle on the moon while wishing upon *love*.
Remember, if this Arabian can be gentle as the photo expresses, so can another human expressing their love and adoration! We all are looking for some degree of acceptance and love, desire and to be treasured and cherished.
I love my Arabians, but they just do not fit in my bed. Yes, I posted this in my profile. Ohhh, I am brave and outspoken; its life I am speaking about. The mere fact is we need love, acknowledgement, devoted recognition in our lives. These moments make life so enjoyable and HAPPY! When humans become the great potential of humanity that we could offer.
Here’s “wishing and planning, hoping and dreaming” as the song goes.
We all have this magic in us, so live it! Wish for it! Bring it to life, your life!
About the Author: MicheleElys is a Neurobehaviorist ~ Writer ~ Educator ~ Keynote Speaker.
“Concussions are a huge drain in the workplace!” 4-6 week training program relieving the agony of TBIs and concussions.
Founder of NBR [neural behavior recognition]. A recovery model for Trauma/TBI Improvement, Recovery to maintenance, Need a Consult? Connect with MicheleElys email LinkedIn, MicheleElys.com
MicheleElys All Rights Reserved©
3 Comments Add yours
I really enjoyed this piece. It was obviously written by someone who has intelligent perspective on this issue of online dating. It is a refreshing insight on the subject. It is presented with a certain classy wisdom that one can hardly argue with. Well done.
Thanks, I appreciate your interest. Online dating is a hoot and so enjoyable to be involved, better yet to stand on the side lines and read about, then comes the uproarious laughter to what individuals do and preform
Thank you Lisa,
Thank you so much for you compliments; it is wonderful to receive compliments written with such precision and directness from other ladies!!
Yes, a psych law major – left me with what some men call “formidable intellect” lolol
But the next little ditty I am putting out is for both men to read and ladies to appreciate.
It’s a little raw and hot, but very true. Then back to my Sammie Kewl Kat story.
Enjoy this weekend and coming week TaTa