An overused phrase in this past decade, often by those who have comfortable lives, have warm homes, healthy incomes, cabinets full of food, travel at leisure – the phrase leaves many wondering; are we not doing our best when we our fighting for our freedoms – a home – food to eat?
Buzz phrases or words are often disparaging to some unknown sector of humanity; another form of discrimination. A covert non-direct attack on some persons who are deemed lesser than as we pinpoint a firing bullet as a hidden I.U.D. from a raw tongue when referencing the action as a metaphor. Generally disguised in hubris undertones, slathered by a self-deprecating venue, spewed outwards, denoting an unknown population who waste the air by not living in accordance to some value of some unknown higher rank. I am not your inspiration: Stella Young
A personification: edge of what? How do we evaluate this thought, intention and raw vocabulary: How is anyone to dictate to the planetary population – of some percentage, that may live in some degree of a comfort which is now an unacceptable venue? Are we creating a new belief systems whose biases are built from a mythos? We neither see these strangers, know them by name, view their way of life, nor acknowledge their value in life. A growing sector of disapproval, in some unseen law, spoken in an allegory. When self-intended, this allegory takes on the power to change, improving the self and life.
“Getting out of our comfort zone, and living on the edge.” but (!!) “The Edge….. The Only People Who Really Know Where It Is Are the Ones Who Have Gone Over! [Hunter S. Thompson]
And what if a person, for some unbeknownst time, was in a comfort zone? Is this not what we strive for in life, some comfort? Do we deny a baby’s life of comfort? Meditating Buddhists, Muslim prayer, Christians’ their church? The comfort of a lap dog or the purring of a cat, nuzzling of a horse? For myself, riding my Arabian, my body dripping from sweat is a comfort zone, to later sit by a blazing fire with a well written book. (Science of breaking out of your comfort zone). These are joys of life and to be cherished in a comfort zone. Life will not leave you for long in that comfortable place!
From the Pigmies off of New Zealand, to Nepal, through Europe, Africa, India, Brazil, Venezuela, The Philippines, Canada, Russia, the Americas – wherever life is inhabited by humans, we all live differently, in fascination to many for we travel to distant lands. We now come under this scrutiny, who is to know this colloquialism? “the edge of what and by whom is told for all?” (Hedonistic treadmill).
Let us look at some examples of hidden lives and what might the comfort zone or edge of reality is. Using myself as first example: recently I finished a 10.5 year medical ordeal, affectionately named, “Medical learning curve.” This was a long lone road, undergoing a “personal hell.” Keeping the excruciating ordeal mostly to myself. Injuries are not viewed to the average naked eye and if known, most people place the injured party in boxes of the unhealthy, never allow to recover – e.g. doctors foretold my fate, sympathy (poor victim of circumstance). My entire body broken in milliseconds from black ice and asphalt. The injuries were not obvious, traversing through 40 doctors and therapists who would not listen until I became demanding. The outcome; I am now bionic!! And appear no worse for the decade of torn and wear. Instead, determined to recover a better person. Most do not have this conviction, it is not a popularity contest! [The Power of Believing That You Can Improve, Carol Dweck]
In most cases when dealing with medical unknowns, fighting the American “Medical Insurance” institutions, for profit companies, seeing numerous doctors who are “medicated oriented, the band aide affect – cheaper for no recovery sake, is what the insurance will fight to pay. Bottom line costs are more valuable than human life. American medical care is exorbitant, it will break even the rich in a few years, if one lives; leaving a high percentage homeless. I had surgeries all over my body! A decade of fighting, then winning, that decade cost more than money!
A friend’s medication is slightly over $2500 monthly. The pharmaceutical profit margin is a well-kept secret at the expense of human lives. A failing in our nation. I refused the drugs, this angered the doctors and insurance company until they realized I was allergic to drugs. (Chester cat grin).
What edge would one claim to be living, in this case? “Did I live to the medical expectations of me?” Hell no! There was no comfort for those ten years only a few comforting moments with my two Arabians and dog, Sadë. Smiling at public venues, parties and gatherings. Why? Due to erroneous discrimination; I was injured the unhealthy box did not apply, people have limiting views.
Trauma is invisible for the most part: the public is acutely unaware of the person brushing their shoulder on the street, might be gravely suffering. Those of us who have studied and work with TBI, PTSD and other traumas know the grueling years of pain, both physical and mental torment people go through in these times. Are these the people “living in their comfort zone or edge” in some accordance to the metaphor?
WAR cries deeply these days. Is that homeless person a product of war? Most likely yes, how are they viewed, do we know that edge – there is no comfort. There is hunger, depression, homelessness, lonesomeness, suicides are at all time highs during wars. Trauma verses the comfort zone of an edge not perceived by one who has comforts and yet speaks with vehemence of the edge: cancer, rape, incest, Alzheimer, physical abuse for many women trapped by an alcoholic, armed with a gun or weapon: is this “Just Deserts?” For most people going out in public is rather simplistic duty of everyday norm, not for agoraphobics. Life and trauma can hit at any time in anyone’s life. Loss of home, jobs, a child who died suddenly; can we see these moments in a person’s face?
Another friend has Parkinson, she hides it well and yet I see the terror in her eyes. Reality of life: your whole life can change in a second and you never know its coming.
Do we know what pain looks like on any face? Do we care? Can we allow some comfort for an impression we do not recognize?
As a trauma Behavioral specialist, I have heard thousands of stories; my skin has crawled, rage billowed inside, yet the compassion is one of quiet acceptance, creating a safe environment for the violated, as they come to terms with life and loss. Everyone has a story to tell, if we do not listen, we are the critical judgers of the proverbial comfort zone.
I was self-emancipated. Life pursued a difficult course. Coming under perlustration of many due to my outspoken nature, and red hair; people have opinions about my red hair! What is inconceivable is: those opinionated individuals never ask me how I became the person I am.
The average person cannot see trauma in a strangers eyes, but it will forever exist. For our veterans coming home from war, who have watched the horrors of war, killings of friends, standing alone facing another person whom they are told, is an enemy. What is that threat like? How will it forever linger in the eyes of the person who kills the other human? Dogs are often uses to find I.U.Ds, this avail a separation in feeling, until one experiences, that dog will accept a person under any circumstances. The bond has formed, we are never alone having been accepted by an animal. There are many war stories; it leaves a lifelong mar worn on our humanity and planet. Yet we continue to war! We need that comfort and not the edge, for life is the continual edge for many.
We can ignore the pain, walking along side people on the roads of life; standing next to us in coffee lines. How many have taken into account the American Indians’ suffering in losing their national land heritage, ravaged, profited upon. We do not know the suffering caused by a tsunami that washes entire villages. Katrina: many lost their land and homes forever. People died waiting for water and help, the animals left behind, so many animals died alone in fear – dehydrated – starved; many never found their families or another home. We have calamities that affect our world; this is the edge of life. Who among you are willing to jump? Even those who wear a smile, have bitterly cried in life. Brene Brown, The Power of Vulnerability
There is no “one size fits all” edge of life. Those whom have lived on the edge of life, anguished with many challenges, are the ones who do not judge for they are too busy with life moving forward, assisting others – elevating to whatever capacities, giving without taking from the innocent, for we all are innocent in this world of humans.
We are loved and crushed. We are born and we die. We have happy moments, then crumble at the next corner. We live with secrets and become resilient moving forward in life to whatever means and where life takes us.
There is little control, except in our own opinions, views and treatment of others. This is where kindness enters, compassion fills a heart and understanding the value of human life begins. The final point: Life is full of twists, turns and detours. “We need inspiration, we all must exceed our own expectations, not to dictate to others of what a life ought to look like.”
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.” Helen Keller
MicheleElys is a Writer – Speaker- Reluctant French Chef – Equine Devotee
Dedicated to Behavioral Solutions for the betterment of life.
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