The fact is it does not, unless the apathy around the circumference refuses to remove that one bad apple. This takes a little ingenuity and honesty with one’s self.
“Quit blaming and pointing the finger at your circumstances and others. That one bad apple can be “most easily tossed out.”
Unfortunately, too many people want to be liked, feel the conformity of the masses and their approval in an excuse of getting along; more truthfully spoken “people pleasing.”
Getting along with others does not mean we live in denial of our surroundings. In particularly of those who scream abusive or attacking individuals who continually blame and complain. We all need to stop these two actions that come too readily as gossip spews forth from the lips only to sinks ones’ self esteem, not heighten the confidence.
Being part of online venues, e.g. LinkedIn, OKCupid, any email address, business forums etc… I get a great deal of email. Today I was surprise to receive a package, I had forgotten the recent order a CD to be replaced by a stolen one of a friend, and however it was from Amazon.com. This is sort of an emailed CD via packaged email – right?
As each morning’s sunrise blazes up, so does my computer. After all I am a writer with spiral note books in the car – by my bed – in a drawer with colorful sticky note pads in colorful stacks around in the same location and by my writing chair; (need to walk up and down more stairs today from sitting and writing). I must take notes continually, for the writers’ imagination comes alive when the mind is resting.
A new LinkedIn connection wrote: “thank you for being aware.”
Simple enough, right? Not for a writer.
My fingers hit the key board and this is what transferred immediately from brain – through arms – to finger tips – to keypad and onto the desk top – a word.doc and then later to this article being published on a blogspot.
“Every human is aware – it is what they are aware of, is what makes each person an individual and sets us apart” Ergo the phrase “separate but equal?” Again my writers’ imagination takes my mind into a further abyss and analytical analogies.
Then I read my OKCupid email. Oh YEAH!!! Not only my current long term (a month or so) long “life article” (monkey swinging in from the branches of creative massive thinking) but several venues had to be threaded together; and all about people and how we think and live, came to life through my fingers onto the keyboard, but first it was in the car writing furiously on a pad as I was driving to feed my horses. And we think cellular users are dangerous!
Yes, that one bad apple requires action, positive action – for it is already rotten. Toss it away, let it feed the earth – recycle in the compost. But what if…. what if it is a human? OUCH, how do we get rid of a *bad apple human*? Many try different forms. Online we can *Block* them away; we can move away from the neighborhood or have them evicted. Some kill others humans to eradicate the annoyance. This leads to more anger and pain and more desire to remove more humans.
We have the option to *Ignore* in life and online, however online is an easy choice, in life this is not that simple. Do not engage, many married couples have develop this tactic to fine art – then does divorce come by the by?
I have moved across the continent three times, not particularly to get away from any one person, however this is most effective and non-violent. New home, new people to be acquainted with, new climate, maybe lots of green grass for my Arabians and more birds to photograph; it all is flight!
Our survival instincts kick in suddenly; we become angry – ignore – flight into survival mode of varying degrees. Life has shocked me when examining my own survival mode in different situations. Whether that be a date with someone who had bad gluttonous manners or having to live next door to a person who is rather off the wall rage wise. Worse watching a mother abuse her children and not having the ability to say or do something due to an egregious system in play. Yes, there are abuses continually being perpetrated upon children, animals, women and men and we are not able, not in control enough in our every day lives to stop the abuse.
When involved in institutionalized systems, as we are in our world as it is this day of wars and policies; abuse in all manners of form are pervasive and blatant in front of our eyes – all out of our control. We may not wish to live in denial; we may be forced (!) to deny the very existence of abuse in front of us as it momentarily occurs!
We may be admonished for getting involved, worse serious admonishment that curtails or ruins our lives, due to one rotten apple. Often criticism comes our way from authority that might be threatened for some unknown reason; seeing actions in different light and not allowing systems to be more creative or innovative; it is a system – organizational with rules.
Sometimes people lose their jobs, their homes, a safe place, or temporary harbor or a shelter, sleepless nights as we hear a child scream or a dog howl through the night and found the next day dead from brutality. The bellows fell on deaf ears – or did they? Who is in control of those who care enough to speak out?
There are varying degrees of abuse; nevertheless abuse is abuse and what if we step in? Will we encounter the same degree or worse of abuse? Possibly elongated time of retribution from the very authority figures that are in position to curtail corruption, such as institutionalized non-profit or prison system; or an angry neighbor – or of the abuser themselves or all of the above. I personally know of this, for I am one who takes a stand and placed myself in the midst of abuse and the hot seat most of my life for all the above.
Worse, I never relent (much to my dismay) of my peaceful desire in life. I get involved! It might be minor in content and when speaking to my good friends who are also well educated, they are astounded at the actions of those who are in authority. Life in the human flesh is not a “block or ignore” computer key.
The ripple effect is not just that moment of abuse or words meant to console, while the abuse is allowed to linger and move on. It will linger the entire lifetime of a child into adulthood. It will linger in the memory of a person who was the subject of rage or lies – jealousy or blame or complaint. And how do we handle each moment?
I have surprised myself, in the midst of utter body crunching – brain annihilation, I did not lose my integrity nor my compassion or my life (surprisingly I am still alive). I became more determined much to the chagrin of those in authority.
Once after being hunted and shot at in Colorado, I did finally take a man to court after being told and viewing a three inch file of his aggressions on innocent people. Then I became a victim of the masses – shrug my shoulders and take on the institution, I said and I did.
I stated to the district attorney, “my Rottweilers and I are still alive, all we did was take an off beat trek hike from the city into the snow ridden mountains where we thought and read it was state owned public property. This person is crazed and the public need to be protection.” Did I succeed? In one sense I did, but at what cost to my peace of mind and life? That was over a decade ago, and still remains part of my driven determination in accomplishing life.
These birds in these photos represent how none threaten they are with a human standing eighteen inches from them as they bathe. I love to study nature, for it is the most genuine fragments of life. Why I say fragments? Humans distort the truth of their very being. Hiding in emotions which are plainly seen in the body language, heard in the voice layers of sound, or emotions of the facial muscles; who has time to study and institute this knowledge in our lower educated areas of life, such as prisons or homeless shelters or battered shelters? These are the subjects of my next several articles I am to publish. Once again in the hot seat, maybe it is good that I plan to move to another state. Oy Vey!!
The material is raw and emotion ridden. My work is a self immersion to see all sides and yet I do fail. For I am not living each and every persons’ moment of experience and seeing or hearing through their lenses; I can only attempt through slight stolen conversations, to understand. Nonetheless for a child, for a child I am monumentally sensitive. I watch the hollow eyes, of the child who is looking for someone to take charge, make a change, and make a difference. The pleading wanderings of a child who is all too grown for their innocent age; I know this agony. And yet, I was the brunt of the complaint and the object of argument. We live in grave denial as humans. We allow abuse to wallow under our very noses and make excuses why we are not involved. And we admit to our ears, “There are different levels of abuse or neglect.” Absolutely not, this is denial in action of its self! Neglect – abuse – screaming – hitting a child – threatening to hit a child if they do not stop screaming, or innocent animal; it is (all) damn wrong! What can we do? What actions do we take?
We set up systems that fail humans, whether that is a child or adult. We have an all time high accounting of homeless. Our society does not wish to admit the amount of homeless people due to whatever reason (adjournment); where do we place blame? Wall Street – Bank and fraudulent mortgage loans – outlandish medical costs that leave a person in dire straights, worse on disability, as that dark pitiless well of never healing while pulling a person deeper and deeper into the abyss of hopelessness. Obliterating confidences, and skills till the self esteem acquiesce into a living death for decades or life.
Do adults that we abused or neglected succeed later in life? Many do not, while some do have reasonable lives, and yet few succeed beyond the measures of abhorrent controversion – turn – the – head disavowal authority figures of their past to become amazing success stories. Some see their self worth, the humanity that failed them and turn their lives into phenomenon products of accomplishment for the betterment of humanity. Sometimes it all seems to be a tiny miniscule drop in a mammoth ocean of lies.
We see all forms of ingenuity living on both sides of positive and negative in life. Cars transport human across continents while in a moment’s agony will kill a family. A great coach will prosper successful teams and yet defile the trust of their young teammates. Homeless will be fed food, that is genetically engineer leaving them hungrier and body utterly in starvation of nourishment. Online venues will connect people from different continents and yet might produce a stalker. Life all too often seems inherent to be both amazing producing light and devouring darkness and yet….. *“If” you light one candle in a dark room, where is your focus, but on that singular candle.
DEDICATED TO BEHAVIORAL SOLUTIONS FOR THE BETTERMENT OF LIFE. ©
About the Author: MicheleElys is a Neurobehaviorist ~ Writer ~ Educator ~ Keynote Speaker.
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